


Saved

by Ale_Song



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Episode: s04e08 Silence in the Library, Episode: s04e09 Forest of the Dead, F/M, Gen, I have finally translated it, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-08
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2019-03-15 12:27:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13613379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ale_Song/pseuds/Ale_Song
Summary: River's last thoughts during her finals moments.





	Saved

There are very few certainties in which I have always believed. We born, we live, if we are very lucky we share that life with someone, and then we die.  
Well, I’m not sure of this now.  
There are just few things that can change my mind, an example? Put that for greater causes you only have ten seconds before dying. Everyone says that in your last moments you see all of your life, like a big recap of everything you have done, your regrets and your successes. When I was younger it seemed a little too much like a movie clichè, an idea too much overused to have a real meaning. Now, after centuries, I can say that in my case it’s a lie… There isn’t any big summary of my life waiting for me. And I am actually grateful for that. I don’t want to remember everything, I already remember too much of things I shouldn’t, that the only thought of them paralize me, chilling my bones and making breathing difficult. In the past it was worse, but now I learned how live with them, my demons and proof that I’m not like that, not anymore. 

I am better.

I feel divided, suffocated. On one side I know that it won't be an happy ending, the one that everybody dreams, but I hoped it. A little part of me really hoped it, clinging to that faint hope. That part of me thinks that all of this is just a nightmare, and I’ll be soon wake up.  
But it won’t happen, this isn’t a movie, but only my life.  
Only a few seconds are left for me now. He looks at me and don’t understand, or maybe he doesn’t want to understand, why I’m doing it. He’s still so young, he still has everything to discover. For this reason, I hate him, just a little. I have always liked to think about us like watercolors: when his line is marked and saturated with color, mine is pale and almost watered down. It’s in moments like this in which I understand how much I hate the universe, and how much it hates us too. Why bring so close two people, making them indispensable one to the eyes of the other, but then destroy this fragile system?  
I can’t let him know all of this, instead I have to smile. For everything that is already happened, For everything that the Doctor still has to discover about me and us. I am smiling because in this moment, at only five seconds to my death, I finally understand: he always knew it. And nevertheless he still loved me, even knowing how it would ends. I don’t know if this is love or masochism.  
I’m sure of one thing though: I wouldn’t change everything, not a second of it. My time is up and my song ended, but it doesn’t mean that is the same for him. The Doctor is till oblivious, he still has all the time and space. He’ll watch us run

 

_River Song has been saved._

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this fic in italian months ago, and finally I have translated and edited it a little!  
> Let me know what do you think of it, bacause this is actually my first fic that I post in english!


End file.
